The BRITNEY review

Over here at Shennantics, let me prep you: We are on Team Britney.

Back when she was suffering from the basic non-stop harassment of the paparazzi, we believed that Britney would one day, and that one day would come, that she would be on the top of her game.

Fast forward through the dark sexy pop of "Blackout," and the immediate perfection of "Circus" with it's paranoia sheen, we get to Britney's post-comeback album: Femme Fatale.

Femme Fatale, is Spears seventh studio album and it was majorly hyped up by cryptic tweets of who would be producing it, to teaser videos for the flagship single for the insanely catchy "Hold It Against Me."

And now, Spears has finally given fans the manic "Femme Fatale." With producers Max Martin (longtime producer), Dr.Luke (Ke$ha) and Will.I.Am, its kinda obvious that the princess of pop has picked the who's who making club pop for this generation.

Is this a bad thing?
Christina explored a similar tactic on last year's quick fizzle "Bionic" and it was a mess. However, Britney is not Christina and I don't get why the two were EVER compared. Christina is an amazing vocal performer, but if you want sexed up entertainment with purring ...you go to Britney.

The reason why Christina's "Bionic" may have flunked was because Christina's voice is a little too strong to be digitally hacked into pieces without leaving a sour sound on the ears. Britney has never been praised for her vocal prowess, in fact, she's got a thin register, but despite its thinness, Britney's southern "oh bay buh bay buh" is now part of pop culture. On "Femme Fatale" Britney's thin voice is gleefully bleeped, slowed down, sped up to almost incomprehensible effects. But it works.

The album preys on the claustophobic production of today's dance pop. "Hold It Against Me," is almost threatening with it's jackhammer synth. "Til the World Ends," is a better Ke$ha then Ke$sha. The album explores what's hot in the dance world, even as Britney delivers perhaps one of the best songs on Femme Fatale the slow and choppy "Inside Out," or the addictive "Gasoline."

Yet, Britney doesnt stumble on Femme Fatale, its her producers. With a voice that is basically primed for anything some of the production choices are questionable. Will.I.Am's "Big Fat Bass," would have been almost perfect had the Black Eyed Peas frontman and avid supporter of destroying things had not participated in an uninspired dumb rap. It's almost as if he rapped just for the promotional gimmmick.

Then, as the album closes we're treated to the odd Ren Faire inspired "Criminal." It sounds way too contrived to be delicate, and Britney's sex kitten vocals don't really help the song. She can do a ballad, this isn't one of them.

Yet for a couple of mistakes here and there, "Femme Fatale" is almost flawless as a pop album. It's catchy. Upbeat. Uptempo. Full of neutral lyrics, sexed up lyrics, questionable puns. Best of all, it's built on what Britney is pushing nowadays the Britney brand.

Album Review - Lady Gaga Remix Album

Everything Lady Gaga touches does not turn into gold, and so imagine my dismay when I finally got around to listening to this very hyped up remix album.

It was a disc that can easily not be on a must have list, unless you're a rabid monster.

The remixes included are some from Richard Vission, Passion Pit and yes Marilyn Manson. But with all these interesting cooks in the kitchen, someone spoiled the cake.

Many of the remixes fall short of capturing what makes Lady Gaga ...Lady Gaga, it's not really explainable, but the remixes other than featuring her vocals are kind of missing. A good track however is the Stuart Price remix of "Paparazzi," which may have been re-recorded, the iML mix of "The Fame," and the chillingly slowed down iML mix of "LoveGame."

A bonus perk for fans if you get the Australian version of the album a live rendition of "Pokerface."

So unless you can't get your fix until 2011 this might be enough to bait you over until gaga releases that full album, but it won't keep you satisfied.

Holy Mighty Aphrodite!

Hey everyone, sorry about the lack of updates...but I have been out of the state for a while (getting my GTL done ...okay maybe not). This summer Poutz and I have been really slow on the updates and uptake and for that, we are sorry, so in fall we will definitely make it up to our loyal readers.

With that said, let's get onto some shennantics!

A music review if you will. We're going headfirst.

Everyone's favorite pint-sized disco diva and real life Tinkerbell, Kylie Minogue has released her 11th album the appropo "Aphrodite" (yes named after the Greek Goddess of love and beauty). It's funny because I do think of Minogue as a modern Aphrodite, her albums are almost always about love and beauty and she just radiates a charm about her that almost everyone loves Kylie and if you don't...hmmm.

On "Aphrodite," Minogue returns to her careless euro-pop that made her basically well an icon. She could have went the Gaga route and did some really stealthy electro-pop but no, she returns to "fluff" and no one does fluff sincerely or beautifully like Minogue. In fact if anyone else recorded her songs, they would come off as cheesy but with Minogue's signature light-as-a-feather purrs and coos...it's hard not to like her or the music.

The lead single "All the Lovers," is quite catchy and has been stuck in my head since I heard it back in May. Elsewhere on the album, Minogue doesn't really do downtempo but songs like "Cupid Boy," "Get Outta My Way," and "Closer" are definitely highlights.

Since it's summer, why not listen to something the equivalent of Beach cotton candy.

She's the bionic lady ......

So in case you missed it...Christina "Xtina" Aguilera performed on the 2010 MTV Movie Awards and she performed a medley of her new album bionic.



Ladies and Gents, you did see a glowing heart on that outfit. Yes, a glowing heart and "whoohoo."

I have to say I was not impressed by this performance at all. I mean it's probably the most fun performance she's done in a while, but seriously the lyrics to "Whoohoo," leave more to be imagined. I don't want to sound like a hater because I like Xtina but this is just too much...and it seems so...I don't know what to call it.

Which is how I feel about her latest album. I wanted to really like it, it's good but it's also very annoying.

Aguilera's fourth album, the aptly titled "bionic" has been a long one in the making but then again, all Christina Aguilera albums take a while to get out. On top of that, when she does return to the music scene she offers fans a lot of new material.

The media has been hyping up Aguilera's return since it was leaked that she would be working with Santigold, Le Tigre, Ladytron and Sia. In other words "Bionic" is a big deal.

Fast forward, internet leaks, lady gaga comparisons and the aforementioned awards performance and it brings us to "Bionic."

What can you say about an 18 track album other than it's self-indulgent? But then again, Christina Aguilera is self-indulgent. On "Bionic" she dips into the ever-trendy electropop and the results are some of the better songs she's done in a while but the problem is they lack emotion.

What I've come to love about Aguilera is not just her amazing vocal range but the emotional appeal she brings to her music. Other than the ballads that are mistakenly clumped together, "Bionic" offers rare glimpses into Aguilera as a person. Sure, she sings about sex (WhooHoo, Sex for Breakfast)and how amazing she is (Prima Donna, Glam, Vanity) but where is the Christina Aguilera in all of this? In the insipid "Elastic Love," (produced by MIA) it's all too obvious that under the weight of robotic synths that Aguilera loses herself in the music. The lead single "Not Myself Tonight," is perhaps the weakest track on the entire album the entire thing is misguided. We know you're a dirrty girl Xtina, but its time to show us something else. Most puzzling track "I Hate Boys." Oh really? Is that how it is? ....but wait..she's married!

*facepalm


Although "Bionic" is a thrill ride, only suffering from the missteps of too much of the same formula it would be nice if the real Christina Aguilera popped in.


technical grade: B
Smitty's grade: C-