I've got some bad news

So the internet has been buzzing with news that Warner Bros. is planning on remaking Buffy the Vampire Slayer with unknown writer Whit Anderson.

Come again? Who is this person and what have they to offer? I'm glad you asked because she doesn't have an entry on IMDB. But, Anderson is allegedly an actress turned screen-writer. The only thing I can find on her is a movie called Prehysteria 3 from 1995 (thank you reelzchannel.com). Hmmmm... Curious.

Better than that Anderson is a fan of the series and plans to take "touchstones" of the show into "a new story" set in the present day. What does that mean exactly? Only time will tell.

The main complaint seems to fall under the category of no known elements of the previous Buffy the Vampire Slayer being involved in the new project. No Joss Whedon, the shows--actually the entire Buffy-verse's-- creator which seems a natural choice. I mean when Hollywood wants to screw something up royally they like to go all out. So not involving the show's creator is a good start to not only piss off fans, but to get everything wrong. I can't even begin to fathom what will happen to Buffy and the gang in less capable hands.

Also, there will be no appearances from Sarah Michelle Geller or the rest of the Scoobies, but who honestly thinks they would? They were on the show 10 years ago and could hardly want to go back to characters they once played. That's like graduating from college and deciding to go back to middle school. Yikes!

The actors are all grown up and have moved on to other projects, this isn't the first season of 90210 people. Burn Tori, Shannon, and Jennie! As far as the idea of new up and coming actors playing beloved characters like Willow, or Angel...I'd rather not see that thank you.

Which brings me to my point.... A remake is unnecessary. I'm just not interested in seeing a new spin on a classic show that is dear to me. It hasn't really been that long since Buffy went off the air, and there is a continuing storyline in comic form that works quite nicely for a fix whenever it's possible to actually miss BtVS. We don't need a new one.

I'm so over people trying to cash in on vampires and zombies! Except you Walking Dead, you know I love you. I'll leave you with the man himself and what he has to say about the whole affair... Joss Whedon's response to E! Online's Kristin Dos Santos:

"Kristin, I'm glad you asked for my thoughts on the announcement of Buffy the cinema film. This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths--just because they can't think of an original idea of their own, like I did with my Avengers idea that I made up myself.

Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, "Whit Stillman AND Wes Anderson? This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie EVER." Apparently I was misinformed. Then I thought, "I'll make a mint! This is worth more than all my Toy Story residuals combined!" Apparently I am seldom informed of anything. And possibly a little slow.

But seriously, are vampires even popular any more? I always hoped that Buffy would live on even after my death. But, you know, AFTER. I don't love the idea of my creation in other hands, but I'm also well aware that many more hands than mine went into making that show what it was. And there is no legal grounds for doing anything other than sighing audibly.

I can't wish people who are passionate about my little myth ill. I can, however, take this time to announce that I'm making a Batman movie. Because there's a franchise that truly needs updating. So look for The Dark Knight Rises Way Earlier Than That Other One And Also More Cheaply And In Toronto, rebooting into a theater near you.
Leave me to my pain! Sincerely, Joss Whedon."
I'm thinking a petition might be in order. It worked for the Rocky Horror Picture Show remake MTV was planning.